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Agent36496

Lonely Ronin
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Self Survey

2 min read

I'm passing this on from @KovoWolf.


About Me


-Meaning of my username: I came up with that when I was ten. I was on a secret agent kick at the time, incorporating impossible gadgets in whatever scenes I imagined. The "Agent" part was right there. When I first created the character of myself in grade 4, he was a secret agent, and he was first designated as 364. In grade 5, I added the 96.


-One Meal to Rule Them All:

Everyone knows pizza is my favourite food. My favourite toppings are pepperoni, green pepper and bacon. But let's be realistic. What meals would make the perfect day? Pancakes for breakfast. A club sandwich (without sauces or mayo) and fries for lunch with a latté. For dinner, I'd like to have a beef Wellington. Then, I'd have Chai tea, an apple, and a slice of chocolate cake that I made myself.

That would make a perfect Saturday.


-Best Gift Ever: Oh, God, I have received so gifts for Christmas and birthdays. One particular gift stands out among them: a wolf picture. It's a print of two wolves in the woods, among snow. I got it for Christmas 2018. Other gifts I appreciated the most were baking books, my Xbox One, and a stand mixer.


-Job I Wanted When I Was Little:

Scientist. I was only sure about being a scientist from grade 3 onwards. I was curious about technology. So, I wanted to learn science to make machines.


-Skill I Want To Learn:

Any skill you're expected to have when you're done high school. I wish I knew how to cook good meals. I wish I knew time and budget management. I wish I had more social skills.


Now, this might not be as exciting as what I read from Kovo, but this prompted much reflection. If you wanna have a go, just copy and paste the following and provide me with the link to your journal in the comments.


Meaning Of My Username

One Meal to Rule Them All

Best Gift Ever

Job I Wanted When I Was Little

Skill I Want To Learn

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Throughout this month, I have logged in on here, the most I have all year. The most I've been doing is emptying my inbox of group messages. I still took some time to read other posts. Because of Inktober and Drawtober, I expected posts from people I watch, built upon the prompts. Including my expected monthly picture, I drew eight pictures this month. Three of them were prompts from lists, and I drew those on their assigned days. The other four were connected: anthro animals playing instruments, inspired by "Night in the Woods". I didn't post them on here, but posted the latter on my Patreon.

Over this year, I've been posting short stories for Thursday_Prompt on FurAffinity. I've also been writing the first "Death's Blood" spinoff, "Blade Typhoon". When I first launched my Patreon, I thought I knew my first goal, but now I don't. I want to be able to publish physical copies of my works, but I have to know if people would endorse them.

DeviantArt is like someone survived getting cut in half long enough to get a robotic lower half, but all the malfunctions are ignored. I have lost reason to post on here. When I joined the group on FA, I received some meaningful feedback. Whatever I post on here is likely to be completely ignored. My relationship with DA at the point when I consider getting a divorce. I stay logged in, but I wonder if the next time I logout will be the last.

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Yesterday (July 10) was my 11th dA anniversary. But I didn't care about that. I celebrated the birthday of James Rolfe/Angry Video Game Nerd.

I have reasons I haven't posted my art or stories on here. 1: I refused to photograph my drawings. 2: I intended to post my next project on Patreon before posting anywhere else. 3: I doubt that anyone would have time to read my stories or even care about this site anymore. I've been posting only on FurAffinity. Per a recommendation, I checked out a group Thursday_Prompt. Because of that, I checked out Furry Writers Guild, and added them to my contacts on Telegram. I have been getting attention that I wanted for so long, though it's limited to the short stories for the group on FA. I don't know if they'd be interested in my passion project for Patreon or even have time to read so much.

It's natural that everyone wants to contribute to society. Writing is all I have. Getting my book published is how I hope to contribute to culture. Literature is a component.

If deviantART is half-assing their management, why should I treat it like the best thing in the world? I'm letting my account stay active. You just won't hear from me often.

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Not that anyone cares, but I hadn't been on here for a while until I unfortunately logged in the day the frustrating updated feedback section launched. I'm not going into detail on that as it's not what I want others to know.


I had a reason for being logged out of deviantART. Nothing interesting seems to happen on here anymore. I just have the tedium of needing to clean out my watch messages. I have gone through the phases everyone goes through in their relationships. I find my relationship with dA equivalent to people's relationships. I took it seriously and always wanted to be around. I browsed a lot of art with my favourite characters. I learned a lot about myself, too. I would realize my favourite art subjects and get to know some great people. I would often post comments on people's profiles and have conversations via notes. Some people I watched on here, I would stop watching because they stopped posting anything new or would disappear. I have also been blocked by people on here because of heated arguments that I wish I could forget. I also had a period of not knowing who to believe. A select few actually closed their accounts on here.

I don't know what I wanted most out of dA. I went so far with wanting recognition that I joined well over a hundred groups. I wanted all the people possible to read my poems, and later my books. I wish I knew how publication worked... Regardless, I kept posting short stories, fanfictions, amateur art, and passion projects. It wasn't enough. So, I turned to FurAffinity and SoFurry.

Now that Eclipse changes have become permanent, I'm taking dA for granted. It's like I'm married and on auto-pilot, coming home from work barely talking. However, my reason remains incomplete.


I've been thinking about it. Now, I need to get it out there. Shortly after I completed "Death's Blood", I launched my Patreon page. I take my writing seriously. Now, I want to make my Patreon work. I swore to myself that the first place I post my new works of focus is Patreon. To get a first viewing there would call for being a patron. So, just because I don't post on here doesn't mean I've given up. Yet, given the circumstances, my relationship with dA is hanging by a thread. I want to be able to make money off what I do. I write because it's all I know how to do. I want a bigger reason to keep writing; I want to be able to publish my works. To do so, I need to make this work. I'm not posting just to let people know I'm still alive. This is about going to the next level.

https://www.patreon.com/AMMonkman

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Just tonight, I launched my Patreon page. Check it out:

http://www.patreon.com/AMMonkman

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